Category Archives: Social Networking

Some thoughts and how-tos about all kinds of social networking services.

Is Social Media Destroying Your Mind?

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Take a moment to question why you’re on social media, what you gain (or lose) from your involvement, and how you can make your life better with or without it.

I’ve been a very active user of social media since around 2006 or 2007. I might have started with MySpace — who can remember back then? — but I definitely jumped on the bandwagon at Twitter and Facebook, spending well over an hour almost every day scrolling through new content, clicking Like and Share and Retweet buttons, and posting content of my own.

Has your focus been stolen?

I cannot say enough good things about Johann Hari’s book, Stolen Focus. It talks about all kinds of things that are distracting us and preventing us from achieving what we want or need to. If, like me, you’ve begun to realize that you’re less productive at home or work or having trouble maintaining relationships with friends and family members, put down your phone and pick up this book.

I preferred Twitter because the people I interacted with there seemed smarter and more dialed into reality. Not that there weren’t good, smart people on Facebook and idiotic assholes on Twitter. There definitely were.

But the difference between Facebook and Twitter — at least in my world — is that most of the Facebook folks were real-world friends and the Twitter folks were strangers. It’s hard to see posts from friends and relatives that clearly indicate their racist, homophobic, white suprematist, or conspiracy theory views. It’s hard to see them lose their minds to manipulative memes that spur hate and anger. It’s hard to realize that they probably aren’t as smart as I’d hoped they were.

And that’s one of the reasons I dumped Facebook a few years ago — the other being the realization that the algorithm was feeding me crap and preventing my posts from being displayed to friends and followers — and haven’t looked back.

I’m on the verge of fully stepping away from Twitter now. It has become a hate-filled cesspool so full of paid-for misinformation and random advertising that I honestly don’t know how folks can still visit it regularly. Elon Musk has revealed to the world what an absolutely crappy businessman he is, first by overpaying for Twitter and then by instituting policies that, little by little, have been alienating long-time users to the point that they’re leaving in droves.

The writing on the wall for me was Musk’s changing of the verified checkmark, which always indicated that an account had been verified to be what it said it was, to be some sort of revenue generating badge. What I quickly came to learn when I was stripped of my blue check was that anyone who now had a blue check had paid to get it and obviously had some sort of revenue generating agenda that made all of their tweets questionable.

In the 15 years I’d been a Twitter user, it had changed dramatically. I stepped away in November 2022, shifting my focus on Mastodon and the Fediverse for my social networking needs. I’m now in the process of deleting my 147,000 (not a typo) tweets and may even permanently delete my Twitter account.

Avoiding the Mind-Rotting Crap on Social Media

But is Mastodon any better? I can argue that it is, mostly because there’s no algorithm to manipulate and no ads to distract.

But I think the main reason Mastodon has been a breath of fresh air for me is the simple fact that I absolutely refuse to be dragged into any discussions about topics that generate a negative emotional response. Those include (but are not limited to) politics, climate change, gender issues, and race issues. Of course, all of those fall under the broad umbrella of politics in the U.S. because everything in this country of idiots has been politicized.

How do I avoid these topics? By setting up filters that prevent toots with specific key words from appearing in my feed. By not following — or sometimes even muting or blocking — accounts that toot or boost about these topics.

Poll
I put this poll on Mastodon mostly to help people realize how dumb it was to post political stuff. I didn’t expect many votes and didn’t get many. I was just hoping it would get boosted and seen and thought about a lot more. People need to wake the hell up and realize how they’re being played.

And that’s the problem these days. People spend too much time spreading information that supports their opinions on these matters. They don’t care if the information is true or false or some mixture of the two. They don’t care if it generates hate or anger — in fact, I believe they want it to do just that. Make us angry, make us hate the “other side.” Make us want to share the same crap and perpetuate the same anger and hate.

People who share this don’t seem the care — or maybe even realize — that they’re pushing the Us vs. Them mentality that keeps Americans divided and easy to conquer by power-hungry politicians and the corporate lobbyists who feed them in return for subsidies and favors. They’re playing right into the hands of the people who are destroying us for their own benefit.

And I won’t be a part of it.

Social Media is Not My News Source

And no, I’m not living with my head in the sand. I am probably more aware of what’s going on in the world than the idiot who gets all of his or her information from social media.

I listen to two news brief podcasts every morning — First Up on NPR and The Seven from the Washington Post — that give me the headlines and a little more; I follow up when I want to by visiting reputable news sites. I follow news, not opinion — I don’t need someone to think for me. I can think for myself. I suspect that most Americans can’t anymore. Our education system no longer teaches us how.

Is Social Media Destroying Your Mind?

But do we really need social networking? Do we really need to communicate with strangers online?

I can argue either way, but I will say this: face to face relationships with other people are far better for us than communicating with often anonymized strangers in the ether. Knowing this has pushed me into being more socially active after Covid and my crazy travel schedule pushed me into an ever more hermit-like existence.

I live alone and work mostly at home, so I don’t get the kind of interaction during the day that most folks have. I lean on social media for content by others to stimulate my mind and get me thinking about things I normally wouldn’t think about. I build relationships with some of these people. They are, for the most part, my only option when I’m home. And they’re a plausible option for anyone in a similar situation.

The danger is when we let these people think for us or sway our opinions or get into our heads to the point where they’re manipulating our emotions.

If you spend a lot of time on social media, why not take a few moments to think about its affect on you? Put aside your phone and other distractions, take out a sheet of paper and a pen, and honestly answer the following questions:

  • Why am I on social media? What does it do to benefit me?
  • Do I use social media as an escape from what’s going on around me?
  • Does my social media activity make me happy? What about it makes me happy?
  • Does my social media activity make me angry? What about it makes me angry?
  • Do I learn anything on social media? Am I certain that what I learned is true?
  • Why do people I follow share what they do? What are their intentions?
  • Why do I share what I do on social media? What are my intentions?
  • Am I building relationships with the people I meet on social media?
  • Am I seeing what I want to see on social media?
  • How much time do I spend, on average, every day on social media? Is it time well spent or would some or all of that time be better spent doing something else?
  • Am I neglecting responsibilities because social media is taking up too much of my time?
  • What can I do to make social media more fulfilling or useful?
  • What can I do to make social media take up less of my time?

I did say to answer those honestly, right? This isn’t something anyone else will ever see. Be honest with yourself. There are no right or wrong answers. Hopefully, the answers you come up with will help you understand how your use of social media affects you and how you can make it better.

Time Wasted

I wish that I could somehow get back all the time I spent doomscrolling on Twitter and Facebook — especially Facebook, since for about two years it really sucked me in hard. There was a time when every idle moment was spent with my phone in my hand trying to see what was going on in an online world that was prioritized by computers for the sheer purpose of keeping us coming back for more.

But I can’t.

These days, I see myself leaning on Mastodon the same way. I enjoy my experience there more because of the way I’ve fine-tuned it and because of the people I’ve met. But I’ve come to realize that it, like Twitter and Facebook, are sucking away my time, making me less productive. So I’m going to dial back a bit, limiting access to specific times of the morning and evening. Time is limited and I simply can’t afford to waste it on things that don’t matter.

Can you?

The Joys of Social Media

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My ever-changing take on social networking.

I’ve been thinking a lot about socialization these days and I thought I’d say a few things about how I stay in touch with friends (and strangers) while living a relatively solitary life.

Twitter and Mastodon (and Facebook)

I’ve been on Twitter since April 2007 and have tweeted more than 147,000 times. (I have a lot to say.) I’ve always liked Twitter since it filled a gap in my working life. In the years when I worked from home writing computer how-to books and articles and video training materials, I had no social interaction with co-workers. Twitter became my “water cooler” — the place I’d go when I needed a short break from work and some interaction with other people.


I don’t tolerate bullshit. I block all trolls and assholes and mute all advertisers.

Twitter changed over the years, of course. It was weaponized by political parties and states through the use of misinformation, bots, and trolls. I kept ahead of most of this by simply blocking the accounts I didn’t want to see. I’d also mute accounts that promoted their tweets. And I curated my timeline by being very careful who I followed and unfollowing people who tweeted or retweeted a lot of crap. Still, doomscrollling became a thing, even in my carefully curated timeline.

Of course, in recent days, after the takeover by Elon Musk, Space Karen, Twitter has pretty much gone to hell. It started with the new policy that allowed users to buy a Verified tag for their account and the rampant impersonation of real people and companies. Some are funny, some aren’t. One impersonation cost Eli Lilly (and Twitter) millions of dollars. Then there was the return of hate speech, in force, starting with rampant anti-semitism. That was only made worse with the reactivation of the previously suspended accounts for Donald Trump and Kanye West. Thanks to the loss of more than 75% of its staff, Twitter has become somewhat unreliable and there’s virtually no moderation of content.

Basically, Twitter is flushing itself down the toilet and there’s not much anyone can do about it.

Like a few other folks I know on Twitter, I opened an account on Mastodon (@mlanger), which is a Twitter-like service made possible by decentralized networked servers. It’s a lot like Twitter was in the early days, but because it’s a bit funky to set up, it’s naturally weeding out the social media idiots most of us don’t want to see anyway. I’ve decided to build my Mastodon experience to be a politics-free, hate-free, anger-free world and I’m doing that by simply not following accounts that toot (instead of tweet) politics, hate, or anger. I’m filtering out posts with topics that I don’t want to see or don’t interest me. I’m muting accounts that post primarily politics. I’m basically building a social networking bubble.

Now before you get all critical about that, try to see it my way. I don’t go on social media to get the news or to learn what’s going on in the world. I listen to NPR and have a subscription to the Washington Post. That’s where I get my news. I have no interest in the stories put out by MSNBC, CNN, Fox News, Mother Jones, or just about any other media outlet so why would I want to read social media tweets that link to them?

What am I on social media for? Well, I mentioned it right at the top of this post: social interaction with other people.

Here’s how I see it: I live alone and don’t go out to a job like most people. My daily social interaction is minimal. In addition to meeting up with friends and neighbors at occasional social gatherings, I’m pretty much limited to text and phone conversations with friends and brief messages on Twitter and Mastodon.

(Don’t talk to me about Facebook. That site will rot your mind — it’s a cesspool of hate and lies. And don’t give me the excuse that it’s the only way to keep up with family and friends. These people don’t have phones and email addresses? The only way you can communicate with them is in a toxic environment where you won’t even see their posts unless the algorithm shows you? The only thing Facebook is good for is finding out how stupid/bigoted/gullible your friends and family really are.)

Now that I’m on Mastodon and building a whole new social media world from scratch, I’m really enjoying meeting people with similar interests — especially those that aren’t trying to sell a product or idea. It really is just like the old days on Twitter. You’d meet someone and hit it off and interact, chatting about things going on in your lives. You’d build friendships. Heck, I’ve met in person at least a dozen of the people I’ve met on Twitter, including the first person I ever followed there, who lives in the UK.

Nebo and the Boating Forums

Now that I’m seriously into boating — as I once was seriously into aviation — I’m making friends in the boating world. There are two main tools I’m using to do that.

Nebo is a boating app that lets you share your boat’s location with others. The idea is that you can keep track of where your boating friends are, show them where you are, and possibly meet other boaters in your area. I used it on my other two boat trips to share each day’s cruise with friends and blog readers. But now that I’m cruising at my own pace and meeting folks along the way, I’m using it to keep track of where they are.

Nebo has a built-in chat feature to get in touch with boaters you find on the app. (There are privacy settings to keep your boat invisible or your information invisible to strangers, in case you’re wondering.) As I prepare to return to my boat very late in the season, I’m trying to connect with other boaters in my area. I’ve successfully chatted with a few, including one couple that has done the Great Loop 33 times.

Because I’m not using Nebo every day (since I’m not currently on the water), I’ve pretty much switched over to texting for my closest boating friends. But I still use Nebo to see where they are. (I can’t wait to get back to them.) And if you’re interested in seeing where my boat is, you can find it here.


I can see that this morning both Pony and Nine Lives are at the Columbus Marina with a bunch of other Loopers on Nebo. La Principessa is heading south on the Tennessee River a bit farther north. I’ll likely catch up with them before we hit the Gulf.

Other sources of social interaction with fellow boaters are the two boating forums I follow:

  • TugNuts is the Ranger Tug/Cutwater boats support forum. It’s a great place to share information about our boats. I scan the new messages every morning and participate in conversations where I have something to add. I also use it to get information when I have a question or problem. For example, I was having a heck of a time getting engine computer data to interface with my chart plotters. I posted about my problem and had two good answers within 24 hours.

  • MTOA is the Marine Trawler Owners Association. Like TugNuts, it’s a great source of information for boaters, but it’s not boat specific. I use it to get more general information about cruising, especially about places to cruise. A list of new posts comes to me in email every morning and I use that to pick out the discussions I might want to see and participate in.

Both of these forums require membership. MTOA requires an annual membership fee. Both forums have resulted in members contacting me directly via e-mail — I allow them to do so — about topics I’ve participated in. I’ve gotten a lot of excellent information and offers for meet ups with other boaters. It’s nice. (And yes, I know I did gripe about some of the old guys in these forums, but they are the exception and not the rule.)

My Point

I guess my point is this: Social networking doesn’t need to be an addictive anger- or hate -inducing doomscrolling mechanism. It can be pleasant and informative. It can be a way to meet people with similar interests and keep in touch with them.

It can be what you want it to be — if you focus on what you do and don’t want to see and take steps to get the content you really want.

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Featured image by Image by Freepik.

Three Social Media Tips in the Time of Coronavirus

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Dial it down, for your sanity and the sanity of others.

Okay, I get it. You’re stuck mostly at home, possibly with a spouse and/or kids. Your routine has been upended and you have gaps in your day that you need to fill with something. So maybe you’re checking in on social media a little more than usual. Seeing what’s new with friends on Facebook or Twitter or Instagram or some other social networking platform I’m either too old or too young to be connected with.

I’m with you. Although my “routine” hasn’t changed much, as I discussed in my previous post, I have definitely been checking in on Twitter a lot more than usual. (I pretty much dumped Facebook about three years ago, although you will still find a half-dead account there for me.) And based on the increased number of new tweets coming in every minute or so, I have to assume that many of the folks I follow there have also ramped up their access. I suspect it’s the same on all social media platforms. You’re bored, you’re lonely, you’re stressed, you’re starved for information — for whatever reason, you’re online more, reading more posts, and sharing the posts you want everyone in the world to see.

Whoa. Take a step back and look hard about how it’s making you feel. That’s what I did about a week ago. I realized that all coronavirus/COVID-19 and all finger-pointing politics all the time was making me depressed and angry. And that’s not what I use social media for.

That said, I’d like to offer three tips for social media during the time of coronavirus.

General Tips for Keeping Your Sanity on Twitter

On March 4, I posted a Twitter thread with some advice for folks who were getting frustrated by the anger and hate being shared on Twitter. Here it is in its entirety; tweet by tweet:

As someone who has been on Twitter for nearly 13 years and has authored numerous training materials/articles about it, can I share some advice for folks frustrated by the anger and hate being shared here? (1/13)

First of all, don’t feed the trolls. If someone replies to you or someone else with nasty, hateful comments, do one of the following (1) ignore them, (2) mute them so you don’t need to see any more of their crap, … (2/13)

… or (3) block them so you don’t have to worry about them seeing/interacting with your tweets. I usually block because life’s too short to deal with assholes. (3/13)

If someone on Twitter is spewing hate against a group of people or otherwise violating the Twitter Terms of Service (TOS), report them and (optionally but recommended) block them. I consider it my duty to report these accounts. (4/13)

If you think an account is fake — remember, we’ve been warned that foreign actors are screwing with US elections — report and block it. It’s quick and easy. (5/13)

Don’t make things worse by trolling people you don’t agree with using nasty or offensive comments. Remember what they say about honey vs vinegar. (Google it.) 6/13)

Don’t believe ANYTHING you read on Twitter unless it’s from a reputable source or you’ve read it elsewhere on an independent reputable source. Related: anyone can cook up a chart or graph or “poll results” to fool you. Ditto for photos these days. (7/13)

Related: just because you agree with something and WANT it to be true doesn’t mean it IS true. (8/13)

Don’t share information you have any reason to believe might not be true. (See above.) There’s enough bad information out there — don’t add to it! (9/13)

Follow folks who tweet about the things that interest you most. If you’re sick of politics, unfollow folks who tweet/retweet political things. You can always follow them again later. And don’t be offended if people unfollow you. (10/13)

Understand that I’m not telling you to close your mind to other ideas. I’m telling you to keep things civil in your discourse, share (and believe) factual things, and be aware that foreign operators are actively trying to disrupt our elections. Don’t let them suck you in! (11/13)

And finally, remember that Twitter is what you make it. Follow only the accounts that really interest you and stick to viewing “latest tweets” instead of “top tweets” to ensure that YOU are the one curating your Twitter feed. Block the bad actors. (12/13)

Social media is not real life. Remember that, whether you’re on Twitter, Facebook, or any other platform. When it stresses you out, take a break.

See you online. (13/13)

1. Curate your newsfeed.

On Twitter, if you have settings adjusted just right, you should see only three kinds of tweets:

  • Tweets posted by the accounts you follow. You have absolute control over this. If you don’t like what someone tweets, don’t follow them.
  • Tweets retweeted by the accounts you follow. You have some control over this, too. If you don’t like what someone retweets, you can turn off retweets for that account. If there’s one particular account that a Twitter friend retweets that you really don’t want to see, you can mute that account.
  • Ads. Unfortunately, you don’t have much control over that. (But cut Twitter some slack since they really do need to make money somehow.)

This is Twitter. Facebook is a whole different animal, one I’m very glad that I no longer deal with. But you do have some control on Facebook, too. Unfriend people or simply don’t include their posts in your newsfeed. Ditto for Instagram and others.

On Twitter, you can further curate your newsfeed by muting tweets that contain certain words, phrases, or hashtags. This comes in really handy if you don’t want to see any tweets about, say, #COVID19 or .

(For instructions on doing any of these things, consult the Help feature of the social media platform you’re dealing with. Don’t ask me. I don’t do technical support anymore.)

Last week, I started unfollowing a lot of Twitter accounts that post primarily about politics and/or coronavirus. I didn’t mute any terms; I just stopped following accounts that were posting stuff that was making me stressed or angry. This includes highly respected journalists and politicians who I can count on to provide accurate information. The trouble is, I was sick of reading about the government’s handling of the coronavirus crisis. (Widely shared opinion, backed up by facts: The Trump administration fucked up and continues to do so in a variety of new and anger-inducing ways. I get it already.) I also stopped following accounts that were posting content from unreliable sources, much of it written to stoke emotions or mislead. (See sidebar.)

But yeah: I stopped following accounts which, in many cases, were following me. Sorry folks, but I’m on Twitter for me, not you, and I’ve already voiced my opinions on the popularity contest.

The ones I didn’t want to stop following — most of them real friends who I know personally — were closely examined for what they retweeted. If I found that they kept retweeting the same political pundit over an over, I simply muted that pundit’s account. This way, when they retweeted without comment, I wouldn’t even see the tweet.

I also started following other accounts that tweeted more upbeat content, much of which has nothing to do with these difficult times. I’ve embraced Twitter’s pilot community and even attended a video conference virtual fly-in with pilots from the US, Canada, and UK. And who doesn’t love pictures of baby goats?

The result: my Twitter feed is a much less stressful place.

2. Don’t share crap.

Ah, crap. It’s the word I apply to any content that is obvious click-bait (see sidebar), is written to generate a (usually negative) emotional response, and/or contains fallacies or half-truths that mislead. Basically anything from the far left or far right news media is probably crap, although I can’t limit it to those sources.

When you share these things, you spread the crap around. Think about that literally for a moment: having some sort of shovel or spatula and using it to spread crap where it’s under everyone’s nose. Do you really want to do that?

How can you tell if something is crap? You can’t always. I usually refer people to the Media Bias Chart, which displays the logos of media outlets on a chart to indicate overall reliability and political bias. Basically, if you’re getting your information from one of the sources in the green box, it shouldn’t be crap. Although that chart is updated often and you can view it online, you have to pay to download it. Here’s a taste of version 5.1; I urge you to follow the link to see the full chart and use it to evaluate your favorite sources:

Media Bias Chart Green Box
Here’s a tiny piece of the Media Bias Chart v5.1. If your favorite news source isn’t in the green box, you’re probably not getting real news.

For the record, I get my news from NPR, the Washington Post, BBC News, and the Guardian (which doesn’t appear to be listed). I occasionally read the New York Times, but they piss me off more often then not.

3. Share upbeat or useful stuff.

What has truly amazed me is the quantity of (usually) non-political content that’s poking fun at our dire situation in a way that makes it palatable. Yeah, life sucks right now and it’s likely to get worse here in the US before it gets any better. And with the economic ramifications, we’re likely to be feeling it for a long time to come. But hey! We’re all in the same boat! Let’s look on the bright side of things.

Many of my Twitter friends have been tweeting or retweeting videos that make me laugh — or at least smile. They show off the creativity and resourcefulness of strangers in the world around us. There’s no hate, no anger. There’s just fun. That’s the kind of stuff you should be sharing with your social media friends. Don’t share hate, anger, frustration, and finger pointing. Share entertaining or enlightening content that makes people happy.

You might also consider sharing useful information. I ran across a video last week that explained how to create masks that could be used (and reused) by local hospitals. Guess what? They can also be used by you when you go out and do your grocery shopping. If you have a sewing machine and some fabric and elastic, you can whip up a mask — or enough for your family — in no time. And if your local hospital has a mask shortage, contact them and see if you can make masks for them, too.

Similarly, I’ve also seen posts about food storage and recipes. New family games. Home schooling. Video conferencing. Working from home. Staying in touch with family or friends. Keeping your sanity. That’s the kind of content we should be sharing now. The kind of content that can improve our world and, possibly, bring people together.

We’re all in the same boat. Why would you want to poke holes in it with divisive or hateful content?

Above All, Remain Calm and Carry On

Lily and Rosie
Rosie (top) and Lily lounging on my bed. They’re calm; you should be, too.

The situation sucks — you don’t have to tell me. It’ll get worse here — that’s a given. But we can get through this together. Do your part and I’ll do mine.

Now enjoy this photo of my two puppies and relax.